I had a glorious, profound experience this past weekend.  I flew to Oregon to surprise my amazing mama for Mother’s Day.  Since my visit was unexpected, she was already on schedule to volunteer at Occupy Medical in the center of downtown Eugene.  We decided that I would come with her and volunteer my acupuncture services. 

This is a fantastic setup to provide free medical care and a myriad of services to the underserved population in Eugene.  They have doctors, nurses, fresh food, an herbalist, and even a person to cut your hair!  It was a gorgeous warm day and I had a nice little line-up of people to treat. 

I have never worked with underserved populations.  Underserved by my definition are people who don’t get enough.  They don’t get enough food, they don’t get enough medical treatment, they don’t get enough comfort, warmth, nurturing, empathy or love. 

My second patient of the day was a transsexual prostitute who was afraid to be homeless on the street because of her sexual identity.  She told me a lot of stories, most of which left me slightly stunned and sad.  I usually feel like I have some things to say when I’m working with patients.  Some pretty reasonable, helpful, relatable things to say. 

I like to have a golden nugget here and there that someone can take away and feel uplifted by.  It might be ego-y but I feel good making other people feel good.  So when this fellow human says to me, I sell myself for money when I’m depressed, I’m stumped. 

I felt kind of like a jerk.  I don’t have a pretty bow to put on this one.  I can’t say, “Yeah, we’ve all been there” and have a laugh because we haven’t.  I had nothing.  Nothing.  I started and stopped.  Silence.  Awkward?  A teeny bit.  But then we just looked at each other. 

Okay, I thought.  Let’s just be here.  Because THIS is what is happening right now.  This is her reality.  I didn’t need to make it better or make it different.  My reality and her reality were crossing over and we were just being humans together.  So we just sat for a minute or two looking into each other’s eyes.  I’m saying I hear you, I understand you, that sucks and I love you in my mind.  I hope she felt that.  I think she did. 

I treated a young woman who was kicking a speed addiction and was grieving three babies gone on Mother’s Day.  I treated a woman with a painful bunion who was craving more connection with her family of origin.  I treated a very sweet man who wanted to propose to me with a ring made of a pinecone and string.  All were in heavy transition with very loose foundations, all were very anxious, all really, really needed to tell their stories. 

The Dalai Lama had just been in Eugene the day before and everyone was quoting him.  It was a bit surreal.  The major theme of his talk seemed to be around compassion, nurturing and the responsibility and power of the feminine.  We were putting these teachings into direct action on this day. 

My mother is a registered nurse so she was camped out on the bus checking vital signs and taking care of wounds.  I’m in my own little section of an outdoor tent with just a few battered folding chairs and a metal table that we pulled off her deck and covered with a pretty cloth to use for a workspace.  There was no glamour.  No flannel sheets, no table warmer, no aromatherapy, no music. 

It was still perfect and functional.  When you strip away all the bells and whistles, there is just the work.  You just give everything you have to give.  Nothing else is necessary. 

Mother Theresa said that the problem of the world was that we have forgotten that we belong to each other.   We are humans.  We are all doing this together.  It makes no difference if I live in a 2 million dollar apartment on Park Avenue or I sleep on cement steps with my dog to protect me. 

We will all take hits in this life.  You will never know by looking at someone what kind of trauma they have had to endure.  It does not matter.  We all deserve to give and receive each other’s kindness and utter humanity. 

It’s easy to see other humans as annoying, frustrating obstacles.  They are in your way.  They aren’t giving you what you want.  They are frustrating, shady, slow, entitled, etc. 

It’s a choice to remember that we are all made of the same stuff.  We all need warmth and touch and sweetness.  Be in it together-even with “strangers.”

Connect and serve. 

Imagine for a moment someone who has done you wrong.  Someone who has hurt, betrayed, disappointed, bullied, dismissed, or wounded you in some way.  You may be picturing just one person in your mind or it may be a whole slew of people. 

At this point in our adult life, we may have an entire catalog of hurts to draw on.  We may have many painful scripts running with all those words that we should have said, all of the reactions that we would have had in that moment if we had felt more powerful. 

When we call up this person or these people in our minds, our heart might beat a little faster…we might sit up a little straighter..we might get into our warrior posture..we might put on our ‘oh no they didn’t’ face.

That anger for that old hurt seeps back into the body.  It fills you up with the special power that rage fools you into feeling.  Our defenses go up and we are adrenalized. 

We may stay in this place as we act out the alternate scenarios of our painful past.  We usually stay in this place much too long because anger can grip you and hold on tight.  This is poison for our bodies. 

We are the ones who get hurt when we do not forgive.  In this way, forgiveness becomes an act of self-preservation.  Forgiveness does not excuse the bad behavior.  As self-loving individuals, we do not need to forgive the unkind act.

When we forgive, we are not saying what this person did was okay in any way, shape or form.  We are not accepting or approving of what was done.  We are saying, I release this venom that courses through my body when I relive this triggering experience.

We are saying, I release this tortuous movie script that keeps me in a place of powerlessness and shame.  We are saying, I want to be free and open to the present moment and what it might bring.  We are saying, I am creating space to move strongly forward in this world. 

Any place that we haven’t forgiven is a place that we are blocking love.  We are blocking the miracle.  If we are not present in the moment with love, we are blocking the opportunity.

~ Marianne Williamson

Forgiveness creates space around conflict and within relationships.  When there is a lack of forgiveness, there is a tension and stickiness.  There is no room for movement, change, or growth. 

The Forgiveness Prayer is one of the most powerful tools I have ever used in my life.  I have used it for family conflicts, friend conflicts and romantic conflicts.  Everyone who has ever used it has reported immediate shifts. 

It can be used for the smallest grievance to the deepest trauma.  It can be used for anyone that triggers you currently or for a very old wound.  It will lessen the charge around the relationship and allow for miraculous movement. 

Forgiveness Prayer

“The spirit within me forgives the spirit within ___ (the name of the person you want to forgive) and ___’s family. 

The spirit within ___  (the name of the person you want to forgive) and ___’s family forgives the spirit within me.

We are both forgiven.

All is well between us now.”

* You only need to include “the name of the person you want to forgive ___’s family” if this is a betrayal involving someone you are related to by blood/marriage/relationship.  We need to additionally extend forgiveness to the lineage of the family that created the environment for the offense to occur. 

Say this prayer for up to 5 minutes, 2 times a day, for 21 days.  Say it out loud, and do it at your own pace- you may need to pause at certain points.  Notice the energy moving throughout your body and where it might feel stuck or more present. 

Also, sometimes you will feel a lot, and at other times you’ll feel like you’re simply repeating words.  What is really important about exercises like this is consistency.  You can substitute anyone’s name into this prayer.  You may try forgiving the people who inflame you the most first and then move onto the next person.  

Please give yourself the gift of trying this powerful forgiveness tool.  As always, please email me at erin@radiantheartacupuncture.com if you have any questions or would like to share your results with me!

When I first heard the news about the bombing at the Boston Marathon my first honest thought was damn, I’m glad I wasn’t there.  My primal instinct to want to avoid danger and pain rose up.  The next quick thought was-I am so happy to be alive.  I am so happy that my family is safe. 

I am so thankful to be alive.  How often do we actually say this?  How often do we actually feel this?  The deep deep deep gratitude for being here in this lifetime with fully functioning limbs, eyesight, hearing, speech and smell? 

We’ve all got our weakest link, the thorn in our side, the nagging pain, the wound that never healed.  It can color every interaction in our day.  It can occupy precious real estate in our minds. 

If this one thing, just this one thing would just stop, I could feel whole.  I could be happy.  I could feel grateful. 

And then there is that moment where you hear about someone who lost their legs and their family in a heartbeat and all of your own pain vanishes.  I am so thankful to be alive.  All the trivial stuff that weighs so hard just exits the building. 

There is a quote I love by an unknown person:  Let your past make you better, not bitter.  We can apply this to our present as well.  Let your pain (whether it’s physical, emotional, mental or spiritual) keep you firmly anchored to the present moment. 

If you are feeling something, YOU ARE ALIVE and that is a beautiful thing.  We are here on Planet Earth to learn, to teach and to love.  This simple truth gets buried in our day to day. 

We take many hits in this lifetime and no one will get out alive.  If we can access the razor sharp survival instinct that reconnects us to our power, we can fully inhabit our life moment to moment.  Tragedies like Boston affect our collective consciousness.  We all feel something when we see our fellow humans in pain, no matter where it is on this globe. 

Trauma can either break your heart or break your heart wide open.  The cracks are where the light gets in.  Let your heart flood with compassion and appreciation for what you do have rather than what is missing or isn’t perfect. 

I am so thankful for this life. 

Detoxing is very trendy in our world.  People are looking for a way to get all the “bad stuff” out.  We’ve got a cultural assumption that if we just get rid of all these faceless, nameless toxins, that we will be these apple cheeked, well rested people with endless energy, sex drives like teenagers, and five star digestion. 

Food is the most common way that toxins and chemicals can enter our body.  Seeing our bodies as a whole organism and what we are taking IN in every capacity is important.  Health has a broad definition and includes our emotional, spiritual, mental, physical, and social health. 

Many of you have had me needle a point right next to the corner of your mouth.  This point is called ‘Earth Granary’.  It is a point on the Stomach meridian that relates to being able to receive nourishment.  This is a broader concept than just receiving nourishment through food.  When I use this point, it’s an invitation to the body to make conscious choices about everything you consume. 

We all can get caught up in life and obligations and our “schedules.”  I had to put that word in quotes because New York is the busiest place I’ve ever lived in my life.  If you are reading this and you don’t live here, I know you don’t feel left out because you probably sleep better and get outside more than all of us!

After 8 years here, I still have no idea why I feel like I have so much less time in New York.  I’ve lived in Seattle and San Francisco and never had to schedule brunch dates a month out just to see a good friend.  The busy-ness itself creates this autopilot, checking off the list, adrenalized, rushed atmosphere where we forget that we actually have choices. 

Do you remember that you have a choice?  You don’t have to eat crappy food simply because you’re in a rush.  You don’t have to hang out with someone you don’t even really like just because your other friends are going.  You don’t have to go out if you don’t want to.  You’re not going to miss out. 

You are given a choice at every moment in every day.  How do I want to feed myself today?  What kind of music do I want to listen to?  Do I want to dress for comfort or to impress? 

You actively curate your environment by choosing what you touch, what you listen to, what you look at, what you smell and what you taste or what you say.  You always have options.  Engage with your five senses to consciously create your surroundings for maximum health.   

Look:  Take a media fast

I don’t watch the news or read the newspaper regularly.  When I watch the news or read the paper, all it does is create anxiety in me.  Let me tell you what you will see on the news so you can feel safe skipping it for a week:  Someone was brutally murdered, someone did something horrible to an animal, the economy is awful, people are mad at the President, certain social groups are still marginalized, there is a war, and we are all going to die because we ruined our planet.  Oh, and the worst storm we’ve ever seen is coming.  Done.  There is the news for the last 75 years.  Please feel free to excuse yourself from being barraged with extremely negative, unhelpful, un-encouraging messages for one week.  Extra bonus:  Check out of Facebook for a week.  You know why. 

Smell:  Clean your air

New York and L.A. regularly compete for the #1 worst air quality in the U.S.  Some of this air actually makes its way into our sweet homes.  There are some beautiful, hardy houseplants that are kind enough to act as natural filtration systems for us.  These can exist with minimal light and will create lovely clean air for you.  The Peace Lily can remove acetone, formaldehyde, benzene and alcohols making it perfect for the bathroom.  The Areca Palm is the best for overall chemical removal.  The rubber plant, the pothos, and the English Ivy are also great. 

Listen:  Clean up your relationships

What do you hear from your partner, friends or family?  Complaints, rants, gossip?  There are always a few ‘one-note’ people in your circle.  You can expect when you spend time with them that they will want to spend time talking about how awful or dysfunctional everything is.  This is like existential slime.  Even if we aren’t buying it or participating in it, it takes some of our precious energy to deflect this negative energy and to clean our thoughts after we part ways with these people.  Limit your contact.  You have a choice. 

Speak/Breathe:  Take out the metaphorical trash

One of the most powerful ways to burn away undigested material, old pain, old thoughts, old hurts is through a yogic breath called Breath of Fire.  You can do it for two minutes a day (if you are not menstruating or pregnant) and it’s highly effective for detox!  I will not explain it myself.  I will invite you to watch a how to video from one of my favorite inspirational speakers:  Click HERE to try this exercise now!

Touch:  Go green with your household cleaning, beauty products, and linens

I’m sure you’ve heard that the skin is our biggest organ.  If you imagine that every inch of our body has pores that are open and receptive, it makes sense to make sure that everything that comes in contact with the skin is non-toxic.  There are amazing “green” cleaning products that are just as effective as traditional ones.  Choose these to clean your house, and wash your clothes and dishes.  Be mindful with your shampoos, lotions, and makeup that it is free of parabens, sulfates and phthalates.  Choose organic cotton for sheets and towels.

Spring has an energy of sweet anticipation.  The Qi of this season rises up and out like a beautiful strong tree.  It’s all about growth and renewal and there can be a mild restlessness associated with it’s arrival.  I know that this winter here in New York is really dragging it’s feet and we are very ready for some warmth and sunshine!

Winter encourages us to conserve energy, reduce our physical activity and increase our internal practices.  Spring wants us to regenerate, reproduce and renew ourselves.  It’s like we’re poised at the starting line waiting for the gun to go off.  Ready, set, grow! 

The organ system associated with spring is the Liver and Gallbladder.  The Liver controls the proper flow of energy in the body.  When it is blocked, we can experience irritation, frustration, and impatience.  Fittingly, the emotion associated with this organ is anger.  Anger in its simplest form says, “I don’t like this.  Something needs to be different about this situation.”  Anger expressed in a healthy way is a beautiful catalyst for change.  We are seeing this in many forms in our world right now!

The transitional time between seasons is a perfect time for a seasonal tune-up treatment.  Acupuncture can strengthen your body to help it navigate the extreme weather shifts.  Check out my transitional tips below for practical ideas on how you can capitalize on the energy of the first weeks of spring!

1. Grow & Expand

The energy of the Liver and of springtime is up and out!  Picture all of those little saplings bursting through the soil to reach for the sun.  Spring brings new life, rebirth, and restores vigor and energy for our hopes and dreams.  Make a wish list.  Take a look at your New Year’s resolutions and see how you are stacking up.  Learn a new skill.  Update your resume.  Go for it!

2.  Seek alternatives for your allergies

If you suffer from allergies, herbs and acupuncture can help tremendously to sooth congestion, sneezing and itchy eyes.  The time to start treating your allergies is before they are a problem, not when they are at their peak.  Regular treatments can alleviate or even banish symptoms all together.  Allergic reactions are seen by Chinese medicine as an inability to interact smoothly with your environment.   “Going with the flow” is the m.o. of the liver.  Consider areas in your life where you could let go a little more.

3. Stretch

The Liver rules the tendons, sinews and ligaments.  Any injuries to these areas may be acting up right now.  Our body wants to stretch and expand after being cooped up all winter.  Notice where your body holds tension and gently ease it out. The Gallbladder meridian runs down the side of the body from the temples down the shoulder to the ribs and all the way down the side of the leg. The Liver meridian goes from the big toe up the inseam of the leg up the abdomen to right under the breast. Pay special attention to these areas.

4.  Eat green

Young green plants like dandelion or mustard greens, sprouts and immature cereal grasses can stimulate the Liver and move your Qi.  Other foods to begin to include in your diet now are radishes, watercress, ginger, mint, cilantro, basil, pear, apple, celery, carrot, leeks, onions, dates, mushrooms, and spinach.

5.  See your acupuncturist for a seasonal tune-up

Transitional times are not the most comfortable.  Poised between the familiar but outgrown (Winter) and the new but unknown (Spring) can cause frustration, allergies, stress, muscle injuries, irregular menstrual cycles, and general imbalance.  Seasonal acupuncture treatments are appropriate to keep you in harmony even if you aren’t experiencing any particular health issues.

We are edging closer to the spring season and slowly coming out of hibernation right now.  I am originally from the Northwest where we only had two seasons-Cold/Rainy/Gray and Never Long Enough Summer.  I could not be more appreciative that spring actually means spring here.  I love that the East Coast has 4 distinct seasons in the year. 

These feel like little capsules of time-each one invites a different wardrobe, a different set of activities, different foods, and even different people to hang out with.  Winter has a much more internal, introspective, quieter quality.  We spend more time inside, we wear more layers and we are hunkered down waiting for the signal that says we can shed our skin. 

Spring is that signal. 

To get an idea of where we are energetically, you can visualize yourself as a little seed that has sprouted and is still crouched under the fertile cover of soil.  You can’t even see the sun yet but you are growing and reaching and stretching.  You’re about to rise up and come on out to greet the day.

Spring energy moves up and out.  Since we are poised on the precipice and we haven’t fully shifted into our next season, things might just be coming up.  Things like frustration, irritation, impatience, and even indecision.

Spring is connected to the Liver and Gallbladder meridians and to the emotion of anger.  Anger in its healthiest form, stripped of all stigmas simply says, “I don’t like this.  Something needs to be different about this situation.”  Anger is meant to be a catalyst for change. 

It can feel all consuming, aggressive or powerful because we usually need a lot of energy to create profound change in our lives.  The energy required for that little sprouted seed to push all the way through the dirt to find warmth and sustenance is the same energy we use to look for a new job or go out on a first date or start a new business. 

The Liver likes smooth, easy movement and gets annoyed when there are obstacles in its path.  When things are blocked, we call this ‘stagnation’ and frustration is the result.  You can feel this stagnation or these obstacles when trying to walk down a crowded sidewalk during rush hour or when your partner just can’t understand why you need things to be a certain way. 

“Where there is movement, there is no pain.”  ~ Ancient Chinese proverb

What is blocking your “movement” in your life right now?  What are your pain points?  Where are you seeing obstacles in your life?  Are they self created or do others create them for you?  Do you have the assertive energy to be able to break down or consistently chip away at what stands in your way? 

Do you know what is on the other side of your obstacles?  What is the dream or the ideal that stands behind what might be in your way?  Where do you want to go? 

The Gallbladder acupuncture channel is in charge of planning the attack.  This is time of year where you think about formulating your vision.  The Gallbladder is the general in Chinese medicine.  He is chewing on a cigar, pouring over maps and resources and doing the research on the best approach.  The Liver executes and moves this vision forward. 

When your Liver energy is blocked and you feel like you can’t move ahead, it can result in depression or anger.  It is important to remember that you always have a choice.  There is always an option to change course and redirect where you want to go.

You have a choice in your life plan.  You have the option to choose who surrounds you and what kind of energy you have in your life.  You have the choice to make conscious decisions about what you feed yourself, what you listen to, what you subject yourself to visually. 

You have a choice to plant seeds during this highly fertile time.  Take a moment to think about what you would like your life to look like.  Are the seeds you are currently planting supportive of that life vision?  If you keep doing exactly what you are doing right now, will it result in what you see for yourself? 

Take advantage of springtime energy by thinking carefully about what you would like to create in your life.  If you are feeling stuck or like your Liver could use some movement, come see me!  Let’s move!

If you missed out on either of the last two weeks newsletters, (Forgive Yourself and You Are Not Alone) they really seemed to strike a chord of deep feeling.  I like to validate and not demonize what some might consider “negative” feelings.  From the feedback that I received from you, I’m gathering that a lot of you have been suffering from guilt and also from some feelings of anxiety, loneliness, and sadness. 

We are all going to be okay.  We are shedding some old skin, ridding ourselves of old habits, unhealthy relationships, and ways of being.  The point where nothing new has come in to take its place can be very uncomfortable.  Stay with your discomfort and it will pass when it’s time. 

I really value your feedback and always want to know how I can serve you and your needs in a more valuable way.  I want to know what’s challenging you right now, what’s the thorn in your side, what’s the hurdle you just can’t get over.  Where do you need support the most? 

I posted this question on my Radiant Heart Acupuncture Facebook page and got a bunch of great answers.  How to deal with fear was one of the suggestions.  Since fear seems to be a close cousin to guilt and depression, it seemed perfect to investigate today. 

In Chinese medicine, fear is the emotion that is associated with the Winter season.  The virtue or the transformed incarnation of fear is wisdom.  We can metamorphose our fear through digging into the information surrounding it. 

All fear is related to the unknown.  If we can identify everything that is known about our darkest fears, we are that much closer to safety and surrender.  The wisdom is found when we find a place of comfort in our knowledge that everything will turn out exactly as it should. 

Here are 3 ways to transform your fear into wisdom through gathering information: 

1.  Identify the source of your fear

There is always a fear under the fear, and perhaps even under that fear.  You may start by looking at the surface fear and then ask yourself what is the deeper fear that lies beneath.  For example, if you are afraid to communicate your needs to your partner-ask yourself why?  Are you afraid you will be rejected?  Are you afraid that they will be unable to meet them and you will need to reevaluate the relationship?  Are you afraid that what you want is unreasonable and that you are undeserving of having your needs met?  Are you afraid that your partner will leave you if you ask for what you truly desire and you will be alone forever?  Find what the true fear is that is lurking at the bottom of the surface fear. 

2.  Stay with your fear

Set a timer for 5 minutes and go deeply into your worst-case scenarios.  Run with this.  Go all the way.  You only have to do it for 5 minutes.  We spend more peripheral energy than we know avoiding facing our fears.  Really looking at them under a microscope for a short, encapsulated period of time is powerful.  Often when we take our fears to the limit, we can realize how ridiculous and unlikely (and even comical) our worries can be.  If you are dealing with a very present, known fear such as a terminal disease diagnosis or a very ill loved one, this exercise can be very beneficial as well.  Carve out a longer period of time to be in your fear so that you can confine it.  This way it will be less present in an insidious way throughout your day. 

3.  Allay your fear

If you are worried about that mole or lump, make a doctor’s appointment.  Have the difficult conversation and own your feelings.  Get on the plane and hold someone’s hand.  Say yes to the speaking engagement and get prepared.  Take action and get out of paralysis mode.  Moving directly toward your fear diffuses its power.  The more often you do things that are frightening, the more opportunities you have to prove your fear wrong.  Take action today to put fear in its place.  You have the power and the strength to do this.  Your success will speak for itself and shrink the fear until it’s no longer an issue. 

Can you see the crocodile eye in this photo?  I almost missed one of the most beautiful wetlands in the world because I was afraid of crocodile attacks.  Conquered fear, rewarded with massive beauty.  

I’ve been seeing lots of tears this week-both in my personal life and in my practice.  If you feel like you are emotionally imploding this week, you are not alone.  I repeat; you are not alone.  The last few days have been about hitting walls with anxiety, grief, depression, and self-loathing. 

I usually only bring up themes like this when they come up again and again in a given week.  The Moon was full on Monday ratcheting up our internal churn to new dimensions.  Normally, full moons cause us to act OUT.  Energy ramps up and people are a little more loud, aggressive, hyper, and reckless.  This moon was unique in that all of that typically outward energy was focused in, creating an internal atmosphere that may have felt a little crazy. 

If this is where you are right now, just be there.  I know it’s not comfortable.  I know it feels like it will never change.  I know you feel isolated and maybe even scared. 

You are going to be okay.  This is just what’s happening right now.  Whatever is freaking you out or causing you stress will pass.  The only constant we can ever count on is change and you will shift.  I know this to be true. 

It may take some time.  It may take you down an unexpected windy path.  It may be terrifying but it will lead you to a much more peaceful place in the end. 

You will come out on the other side-stronger, shinier and more capable.  If you weren’t interested in self-preservation and growth, you wouldn’t be reading this newsletter.  If you weren’t already outstandingly self aware, you wouldn’t have been able to identity how you were feeling and what needs to change. 

This is a deeply contemplative time for people.  We are in the strung out, wrung out period of winter.  Spring is just 3 short weeks away and the energy is of itching and scratching to be born anew.    

I’ve been hearing that you feel like you are on the outside looking in, that you feel like you will never heal from this, that you feel like something is fundamentally wrong with you.  There is a drive to let go of what’s not working NOW.  You can’t wait any longer. 

This is the energy of Winter turning into Spring in Chinese medicine.  Winter is quiet and introspective and still.  It’s hibernation, stocking up, and self-investigation.  Spring is a massive upward movement of rebirth and new life.  The seeds we have planted are now ready to explode out and reach for the sun. 

This is why we are craving release of old patterns.  We want to be set free and slough off our old skin.  If you are going through it, here are a few ways to shift your thoughts to move through the darkness.

Practice complete and total self acceptance

No matter where you are in your life, honor yourself right where you are.  Accept where you are.  Be in the present moment.  You are okay.  There is nothing broken or “bad” about you.  Your insides and your core truth are golden.  Be sweet to yourself.  You are exactly where you are meant to be.  The perfect mantra to repeat:  I deeply and completely accept myself. 

Be really aware of how you speak to yourself

What kinds of mean things are you saying to yourself without even noticing?  I noticed just the other day in yoga how negative my self-talk was.  It went a little something like this “You’re so weak.  You are always shaky in class.  Your muscles are never going to be strong enough to surf.  You’re never going to be able to achieve this dream.”  Do you see how this goes?  It starts with having a hard time doing a pushup and goes all the way down the path to dream crushing.  Nip the negative self-talk in the bud before you create a terrible faux reality for yourself.

Embrace both the light and dark sides of yourself

Somewhere along the way we were fooled into thinking we are supposed to be happy all the time.  It is true that our natural state minus all of the stress, anxiety and pain is joyful and abundant.  But we can’t have the highs without the lows.  We can’t have the dark without the light.  Our ability to experience joy directly correlates to our ability to experience pain.  Consider that your ability to experience pain so deeply is a prerequisite for how large your capacity is to experience joy when you get to the other side of this. 

Allow me to support you through acupuncture and Reiki in transforming your challenging emotions.  

I bet all of you have at least one thing that happened in your life that you are obsessing over right now.  It could have happened this morning, it might have happened last week, 6 months ago, possibly even years ago.  It creeps in when you least expect it. 

It might be the go to scene in your head when you’re feeling weak or tired or sad.  It’s the one that you just can’t get rid of, like a constant self-flagellation brain loop.  The loop doesn’t really change.  It’s just a repetitive piece of memory that triggers you every time you think about it. 

We all have those circular thoughts.  The ones where we wished we’d done it differently.  We wished we’d made a different choice.  We wish we could go back in time and neatly splice that piece of our life movie to create a less painful outcome. 

While we can’t erase what has been done, we absolutely do have the power to change our relationship to the past.  Today, we can draw a line in the sand and start a new chapter.  Beating yourself up for what has already happened does not empower your story. 

A new path…a beautiful hike in Oregon last fall~ 

It keeps you mired in a place where you cannot affect change.  You can only make it right in the here and now.  You can only move forward with integrity. 

The first step to loving your whole self is to forgive YOURSELF.  A couple of months ago, my brain was stuck on repeat.  I was really trying to find a way to forgive the people involved in my story. 

I was struggling, trying to use all of my tools and I was having such a difficult time letting go.  I just kept getting stuck going over the same bits of conversation and the same scenarios.  I finally realized that if I was going to forgive anyone, I needed start with myself. 

I wrote this prayer, said it out loud and released it.  It is my offering to you with love. 

A Prayer to Release Your Burdens

I forgive myself.

I will no longer be held hostage in my own mind.

I will no longer replay events and wonder if I could have/should have/would have done more/been more. 

I did all I could do.

I gave it everything I had. 

I acted with all of the tools that I have and to the best of my abilities.

My intent was always love. 

I forgive myself. 

Buddha says, “If your compassion does not include yourself, it is not complete.”  Extend massive compassion toward yourself today as you make your way in the world.  Bless yourself with complete and total self acceptance as a gorgeous, miraculous, constant work in progress. 

You got this.  

I’m just going to come right out and say it.  I think Valentine’s Day is the most stressful holiday of the year.  More so even than Christmas or New Year’s Eve.  It’s so loaded. 

If you are single, it can bring up feelings of loneliness and feeling bad about yourself.  If you are in a new relationship, the stress around expectations can be off the charts.  If you are in a long-term relationship, it can be an oddly make or break it day if you are going through a rough patch. 

This day has so much power over our emotions and I find that both really bizarre and interesting.  One day.  One day out of the entire year can bring on self-pity, anger, despair, guilt, grief, and a whole other host of painful stuff. 

No matter where you are in your relationship status, I’d like to bring this day back to its purpose of love.  If you are in a happy and healthy partnership right now, I salute you.  I bring in the horns section for you.  You are doing all of us proud and we bask in the glow of the strong union you have created.  There is zero sarcasm here.  I am on love’s side and will always cheerlead for it!

If you are in Heartbreak Hotel or if you are dreaming/hoping/wishing/praying for a fantastic partner to enter your life, these tips may ring especially true for you.  No matter where we are in our love journey, it is essential to bring our energy back to loving OURSELVES. 

Here are three ways to love and celebrate you on Valentine’s Day or ANY day of the year!

1. Stop judging yourself

This is a biggie.  I think we judge ourselves so ruthlessly and unflinchingly and (unfortunately) regularly, that we don’t even fully realize when we are doing it.  This week, when you register that you are going into negative self talk around anything-your relationship status, comparing your relationship with someone else’s, how bad your skin is, how thin your hair is, etc.-JUST STOP.  You don’t deserve it!  You really don’t!  You are a beautiful human being worthy of love and joy.  We all have areas we’d like to improve but at the core of everything, you are truly valuable and loved.  That’s a fact. 

2. Engage with your sensual side

New York can be such a visually assaultive and overwhelming city that you can start to tune out your environment.  I think we turn down our sensory input just to survive here.  This week, I want you to tune back in and connect with those senses.  Listen to something that is pleasing to your ears, something melodic or meditative.  Adorn yourself with fabrics that feel gentle and soft on your skin.  Light some incense or a scented candle so that the very air you breathe smells delicious.  Put something in your visual field that is pretty and delights you to look at.  Eat something that blows your taste bud’s mind. 

3. Choose one really luxurious thing that you’ll gift yourself

When I moved to New York 8 years ago, I had a broken heart.  When Valentine’s Day rolled around, I decided to buy myself this really cool custom made wooden cuff bracelet as a gift.  It was an act of being sweet to myself and a reminder that I was still very loveable.  You may choose to buy yourself a particularly luscious bottle of wine, an exquisite cut of grass fed steak, a gorgeous lipstick, or a piece or art.  Choose something that you wouldn’t ordinarily purchase and make it special.  This is your reward for making it this far.  Enjoy it whole-heartedly.